The Muffin and the Bagel: What Not to Wear

You hate your thighs.

So what?

You have love handles.

Doesn't even matter

Think you have big arms.

No problem.

Girls, we are here to tell you that the clothing you put on your body can make all the difference in the world in how you feel about yourself and how you appear to the world.

Try our tricks to look leaner, feel sexier, and accentuate the figure you were born with in ALL the right places!

A Message From the Bagel:

If you haven't noticed, I have always had an hour glass shape. My measurements are 34' 27' 34'. With an hour glass shape your bust and hip measurements are usually proportional. So if you feel like you are an hour glass I have some tips for you!

1. Before you do anything, Look at yourself butt naked in the mirror. Realize this is who you are. No matter how much weight you lose, you can't change your bones! Think of your body as a canvas. Now you wouldn't paint this BEAUTIFUL canvas with crappy finger paints would you? No, you would use the best paints possible to paint a gorgeous you!

2. Next start with the right undergarments, PLEASE. I hate bouncy boobs! Go to Dillard's and get fitted for the right bra that is for you. Not everyone can wear Victoria Secret Bras, I can't. The right bra can sometimes take away a few pounds. Also, I am a HUGE fan of Spanxs! I know many girls who are super skinny to voluptuous who wear these. They smooth out all of the pudges and frumpiness in a tight fitting dress. So ladies have no shame with wearing the gerdle!

3. For casual out fits stick with basics. For us, usually less is more. I like to wear basics and pump up the volume with hott shoes and big jewelry. I go for skinny jeggings and simple oversized top or the basic loose black tank. I try to keep it tight on the bottom and loose on the top. I found that jeggings are love handle friendly. Hour glass girls should stay away from waist bands (this will give a grandma bladder). Ususally straight lines are better because we have so much shape naturally, that it does need accentuating, especially in the wrong places. If you do go with lines, go for an empire waist. It wont make you look preggers and it conceals the belly.

4. For a night out on the town or date nights with the fella, go for the tight fitting body con dress or the tailored pencil skirt. Hourglass figures need to show the shape, because we are naturally proportional. The fitted dress needs to have simple lines, but make sure it fits perfect (think Marilyn, not Lil'Kim). If the dress shows the bagels and the rolls, that is when THOSE undergarments I told you about come in handy. As for the pencil skirt, it gives a more professional look. Pencils skirts are high waisted, so pair them with a belt and sinch in the waist. Top off the look with a hott blazer with some serious shoulder pads. The shoulder pads will line up with the hips and the belt pulls it all in the middle. Remember when you are an hour glass its all about flattering those natural curves.

Outfits to stay away from:

-A-Line this is a terrible look for us because it accentuates all the wrong places, its just bad!

- The baby doll look: usually there is a seam right above the boobs...you will look preg. Dont do it!

- Low waisted jeans- go for it... if you want to have back fat!

-Peek a boo shoulders: dumb look! you might as well be a football player because you look like a line backer. (Go look at J Lo's Oscar Dress...see what I mean)

- If its trendy it probably won't look good. Hour Glasses need to wear timeless and classic looks (think Marilyn Monroe when dressing)

Outfits that must be in the closet:

-Anything with simple lines and seams

-Anything that is tailored: suits, slacks, skirts, blazers

-Basic tees and tanks (loose not tight, I like Target's V Neck pocket Ts)

-Jeggings (Target has the best)

-Dress that are fitted

- Looks with a deep neck line, but big boob friendly or something that falls off the shoulder. This will take the eyes away from the ta-tas and your gorgeous neck, collar bone, and shoulders will steel the show

-Bras that fit! No one likes saggy boobs! Invest in Spanx!

My favorite stores: Express, Cache, Bebe, TJ Maxx, Target, The Limited

A message from the Muffin:

Well obviously, I'm the complete black and white, night and day OPPOSITE! The muffin is here to tell you to dress nothing like the bagel if you were born and blessed with a wonderful set of short legs, curvy hips, and small shoulders-- embrace it!

1. Being a muffin is a beautiful thing. Most muffins are petite in size, with a few lovely lady lumps along the way. Nothing is wrong with that. Nothing. And on a side note, if you think you are a muffin/bagel mix...a magel..then simply combine both of our ideas for the perfect look!

2. Since we usually are shorter and generally have shorter legs that may or may not be "thicker", then as a general rule of thumb, aim to keep all skirts, dresses, & shorts ABOVE the knee and obey that "fingertip rule"!! Anything below the knee will cut your cute little body in half and POOF you are 3 inches shorter than you already were. This works out great for those of you who love to online shop like me, because this means you can order all those cute dresses and shorts from Forever 21 that you love without having to worry about them being too short!

And this bring me to point number 3. High waisted anything is a must for those of you with a short waist like me. How do you know if you have a short waist?

Well, answer this: Do the widths of both of your hands laid side by side against each other take up your entire tummy space?

If yes, then welcome to my world. You have a short waist. For a casual look, try high waisted shorts with a tank tucked in. Unlike the bagel, we are all about the shoulders! Show them off. When wearing skinny jeans, stick to the actual JEAN material and stay as far away as possible from jeggings. Jeggings will cling to your thighs and accentuate everything in all the wrong places! With your skinny jeans, maker sure to pair it with a flowy shirt that falls below the zipper of the pants to take some of the focus off of your midsection and more focus to your upper body and gorgeous face!

4. For a night out with your girls or even dinner with your boo, a bodycon skirt that comes up to the belly button paired with a flowy top is always a good idea or a sweet flowy dress (as long as its above the knee!)

Items that should NEVER be in your closet:
-Turtlenecks: If you have a short upper body, turtlenecks literally make you look like a turtle living in an extra large shell. Necks ARE necessary!!
-Jeggings: Take one look at Kim Kardashian from the rear in a pair of these and you'll see why I say this. NOT flattering.
-Straight dresses: Yeah, those cheap dresses from Charlotte Russe and Body Shop that fit tight all the way down without a break in them...never ever buy them. They accentuate the worst parts of our shaped body. Just don't do it.
-Capri Pants: Besides the fact they were only awesome when Lizzie McGuire and Backstreet Boys were...these pants CUT YOU OFF! They break our "Above the knee" rule. If you have them, give them away. You either wear jeans or shorts, there is no in between for us muffins.
**Make sure your pants FIT, do not hang on to pants that are too small!! Nothing is more flattering than a pair of pants or shorts with the perfect fit. If your sides spilleth over...do not wear.**

Items that should be in your closet:
-Puff shoulder shirts: For the petitely-shouldered, this creates a balance from hips to shoulder. Do not take it to the Ga-Ga level..just keep it sweet with a little poof.
-High waisted anything: Refer to the column above. Just makes you look good!
- Empire waist dresses: Make sure the elastic hits right under the bust and not around the waist! The higher the empire the longer and slimmer the torso appears!
My favorite stores: Forever21(online), UrbanOG.com, KnowStyle, TJMaxx, Charlotte Russe

From the Bagel:

Squat Press: this works the glutes, quads, abs, shoulders
Use 3-8lbs, 3 sets with 15 repetitions

Meal of the Day:
- For lunch I had a "little" veggie tray. Yes they sell individual veggie trays at Walmart for less than 2 dollars. My tray consisted of baby carrots, broccoli, ranch dip, a slice of cheese, and a small packet of almonds. Then I had an apple and dipped it in peanut butter. Yes I eat peanut butter, but in moderation.

Hot Girl Tip of the Day:

The BIGGER THE HAIR, the closer to God! Nothing says "hot" than a girl with gorgeous, curly, teased hair i.e.: Gretchen Christine, from Real Housewives from OC (google her). When you are a thick girl, remember to balance (proportion), even when it comes to your hair. I would look so weird if I walked in the bar with a cute outfit on (that followed my rules, see above) and had drab, flat hair. Sooo Un Proportional! Invest in some hot rollers. Get a U Curl. Buy some weave. Watch youtube videos on how to tease. Do It! and quit flat ironing your hair, it will eventually fall out if you keep using that thing! Also "fixing" your hair does not include pulling it back with a bobby pin.

Trust me if you get the stank eye from strangers when you are working your hot outfit and your fixed doo, just feeling like Beyonce, its because they are jealous of your confidence! Its all about the confidence, ladies. Believe in yourself...bump the haters!

Remember, jealousy is the ugliest trait... now do the pretty girl rock.

AUSkinnyGirl Pic of the Day:
Check out these BEFORE and AFTER's:

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